Asking the Right Questions About Sex

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"What is the most serious threat confronting teenagers today? It’s promiscuity and pregnancy" according to Insights, March 2, 1998. How did this happen? Our society is constantly redefining morality and overlooking the standard whereby we should base our morals.

But should society be the standard for basing our morality? A counter- culture movement hit our nation throughout the late 1960s and early 1970s. Students protested what they considered to be repressive of women’s sexual pleasure, which was to be kept within the walls of heterosexual marriage. Medical contraceptives were ushered in, taking away the fear of pregnancy for the free-love movement. This movement told us that premarital sex releases people from their inhibitions and moral hang-ups. It gives them a sense of emotional freedom. But does it really?

Where has this way of thinking led and what have the fruits been?

Along with the sexual revolution of the 60s came exploding mental illness in our society. Why is that? "Sex, because of the way it works in the brain, is connected to our emotions more than any other sin. Sex is so good at bonding people, that when they meet even 50 years later, there is a connection" (Bill Jacobs, "LifeResource Ministries").

The younger kids get involved in illicit sex, the more damage it does. According to an article titled "Sex Ed." in U.S. News and World Report, October 17, 2005, "1 out of 5 teens has intercourse before age 15. . . .

"Research shows. . . 80 percent of gay and lesbian students say they suffer severe social isolation. ‘The data has consistently found that gay and lesbian and bi teens have at least three times the rate of (teen) suicide and suicide attempts,’ says Ron Schlittler, deputy executive director at the national office of Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays. . ."

There is plenty of evidence that the sexual revolution and sex ed. classes in school have not produced good, righteous fruits in our society. But the oft asked question is, "Are we teaching our kids too little or too much about sex?" Perhaps a better question would be "Are we teaching our kids the right or wrong things about sex?" "At least 75 percent of American parents want schools to take a comprehensive approach that covers abstinence along with birth control – including abortion, sexual orientation, how to use condoms, dealing with pressures to have sex, and emotional consequences" (Ibid).

Even Christians have given in to the erroneous idea that if you’re "in love", sex outside of marriage is okay. What will it take for parents to understand that "Issues such as pornography, marriage breakdowns, single parents families, welfare state dependency, drugs and youth crime are all seen as having their origins in the ‘permissiveness’ of the sixties"? (Sexuality & Modernity, The Sexual Revolution of the 60s).

"One-night stands and couples who profess a purely physical relationship deny the sanctity of sex and diminish their relationship through such activity. Likewise, teenagers who engage in sexual relations by the nature of their age are not able to understand the meaning of their act and, therefore, sex can hardly be sacred. In times when teenage marriage was common, the special relationship between sex and marriage was clear. Today, with the definition of commitment and fidelity grown ever flexible, sex is rarely perceived as meaningful or sacred by teens" (The Ten Commandments by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Rabbi Stewart Vogel).

The biblical teaching that sex is only for marriage doesn’t enter the thinking of most people today and it’s certainly not taught in public schools, nor even in most homes. The biblical condemnation of sexual relations before or outside marriage is abundantly clear. Adultery was not only condemned in the Bible, but it was punishable by death (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18).

"If a man marries a girl, then after sleeping with her accuses her of having had premarital intercourse with another man, saying, ‘She was not a virgin when I married her,’ then the girl’s father and mother shall bring the proof of her virginity to the city judges. Her father shall tell them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he despises her, and has accused her of shameful things, claiming that she was not a virgin when she married; yet here is the proof.’ and they shall spread the garment before the judges. The judges shall sentence the man to be whipped, and fine him one hundred dollars to be given to the girl’s father, for he has falsely accused a virgin of Israel. She shall remain his wife and he may never divorce her. But if the man’s accusations are true, and she was not a virgin, the judges shall take the girl to the door of her father’s home where the men of the city shall stone her to death. She has defiled Israel by flagrant crime, being a prostitute while living at home with her parents; and such evil must be cleansed from among you. If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the other man’s wife must be killed" (Deuteronomy 22:13-22 TLB).

The results of adultery reach beyond what most people think. Adultery is a form of theft because it deprives the spouse and family of the attention and love they deserve. It affects the stability of the family by undermining the trust of husband and wife and threatens the integrity of the family unit. Affairs often produce illegitimate children. The children in single-mother homes have a higher risk for poverty, academic and social failure, criminality, violence, and death. Finally, adulterous behavior destroys the soul (Proverbs 6:32).

The article quoted above in U.S. News and World Report went on to say, "One of the few points on which all sides agree is that the best way for kids to learn about sex is from their parents. ‘Talk about sexuality openly and honestly from the beginning,’ says Sparrow. ‘Be the most important, reliable, trustworthy source of guidance for your child – not just giving the mechanics of reproduction but that part of caring about and understanding another human being.’"

Okay parents, don’t delay! Start early to help ensure that your children have a stable family and that your grandchildren aren’t at a higher risk for poverty, academic and social failure, criminality, violence, and death. Teaching your children biblical principles about sex is like taking out a very valuable insurance policy that will pay wonderful dividends.

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Image Credits: Joel Montes de Oca